Thursday, November 18, 2010


This will be a work in progress because that is exactly what relationships are.
They vary upon affiliation, frequency, duration, and intensity.

To highlight some principles:
1. Compromise, interpret, back translate, communicate, integrate and only give up when it seems absolutely hopeless. I emphasis the absolute because all good things take time. Emotions defer rational and rather than reacting and making decisions based on how you are feeling at the moment; it becomes better to take time to isolate yourself for the situation. Take time to reflect and most importantly, try to understand where the other individual is coming from. This is one of the most defining traits of humans. We have the ability to view a scenario and to put ourselves in the others shoes per se; the ability to understand their intentions, reactions, dispositions, suppositions. It is through this that clarity and understanding thrive and to not rush things is essential.

We are naturally evolved to fear the unknown. When in a flight or fight scenario we have more practice with flight because he who runs away lives to run another day. In the environment (Evolutionary Environment of our Ancestors: EEA) this was a very adaptive tendency because this allowed us to thwart potential danger.
- When in doubt throw it out: Bad food is better left for the flowers than yourself.
HOWEVER, when it comes to relationships, flight is a maladaptive tendency because people don't really go away. They just digress and get preoccupied with other ventures like work or other friends. If two people have a conflict and value the relationship then they should progressively work out the kinks in the most adaptable, egalitarian and pragmatic manner. The better this is communicated, the better the mutual understanding and the better the circumstances.

2. Keep it real. People have a tendency for habit and patterns. We love them and seek them for stability. Furthermore, diligence does facilitate progress but it depends on what the activity is. I have heard from various parties that relationships get stagnant. Spontaneousness is a rarity because it requires resources and creativity. Established individuals get into a grind where they wake up and go to work, get home and make dinner and whatever time is left (i.e. once responsibilities are satiated) THEN intimacy ensues. Whether this be pacifying to a film together, sharing stories/thoughts/feelings or engaging in some other activity, I have learned that this is where the relationship is maintained. Other endeavors are means to uphold and adhere to this. I want to emphasis that this is F**King hard and there are innumerable factors which impede upon this.
Get your priorities straight; universe, self, partner, family, friends, acquaintances and last are the means to pleasure, comfort and sustainability.

Anyways, this is all I have for now and time is pressing, responsibilities impede upon aspirations unless they coincide. Then you are the lucky few who get paid to do what you truly love.

~Keep on rockin' in the fee world

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