Arduous

Thought I'd update this since I've been AWOL, MIA, and other syllogisms which excite your fancy. Busy life or so I'd say and I've managed to keep enduring though some aspects continue to linger. Still not smoking but I slip up when in certain company. Still exercising and over eating though I think at this point I'm just eating often because I haven't the time or the desire to be uncomfortable. Anyways, enough about me and my exuberant life of benevolence, malevolence, dissidence, hesitance and suspense. I feel compelled to share a little exert from a post mandated by a lulling course I've subjected myself to:

Cheating in Sport

I think that cheating in sports is inevitable. Because of the high demand for a competitive edge then individuals will seek all alternatives and prospects which pose an opportunity to excel. I'm reluctant to condone a zero-tolerance mentality because I understand that the world is not black and white. Authorities have the intentions of eliminating the use of substances which are shown to be harmful to those who use them. However, the verdict is still out for a lot of nutrient substitutes, stabilizers and a kaleidoscopic plethora of other 'legitimate' enhancers. I think the term 'drug' is pretty elusive and subject to interpretation seeing as the dominant criteria which connotes inclusion is based on conglomerates who endorses and receive revenue from such classifications. Therefore, I say continue to investigate and hash out the harmful effects of substances athletes ingest and continue to reprimand those for emancipated transgressions but remain weary of fraudulence too. You are what you eat and if you've gotta 'supplement' to keep up then maybe there is something wrong that you aren't addressing; which is to find contention in your calibre of performance and don't take it out on yourself so much. Pertaining to 'doctoring' your equipment, I say regulations mandate the criteria and to thwart this is an act of anarchy; fore shame, for shame. You know we are LIVING IN A SOCIETY!

Fans are indifferent because they are fanatical and selfish, void of empathy and compassion; loyalty is a rarity, opinions vary and what people say and do have vast incongruity. In a disposable society we throughout the razor who has lost its edge and look for the next best thing; sad really but life ain't fair and all we can do is try not cry or go awry.

Gamesmanship versus Sportsmanship are nice fuzzy terms to illustrate if one plays a game versus if one plays a sport. If you've read my short diatribe about contrasting the two then you'll know that sports are about competition and deduce that games are about recreation aka fun. Thus, is it ironic that these terms are paradoxical or at least contrary to what they're to represent. I know gamesmanship is supposed to infer an emphasis on winning the game and sportsmanship is supposed to emphasize being a good 'sport' but I do find it uncanny. Nonetheless, my experience revolved about discerning these two terms and remembering that sportsmanship relate to games and gamesmanship relate to sports.
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So as you see I succumbed to my tendency to overuse my vocabulary and conjunctive articulation. Hence, I'm not going into research and prefer people to paper. Though both seem to be the bane of my existence these days. Nonetheless! PROGRESS and DIGRESS!

Commencement

Greetings one and all. I've been swayed to do a little update and thought I would talk about nature vs. nurture since I've started a cool book emphasizing nature (i.e. the dynamics of genes). So I have managed to endure the grueling process of quiting smoking. Have relapsed on occasion but still manage to remain a non-smoker. Been exercising mostly everyday; a one hour routine of cardio and calisthenics. Also been eating a lot in a ploy to gain weight. Gained a good five pounds with five as an indicator of improvement and a final goal of another ten. School started, last semester and looking for a job once volunteering expires. I'm intentionally being kinda elusive because well . . I don't sincerely care about people anymore or at least these days. I'm dead inside and here for the ride, till time turns the tide I will not confide.

Anyways Nature versus Nurture . . the latter impacts the former. They aren't mutually exclusive but we are the manifestation of our genes and proteins and it seems that the external impacts the internal in a symbiotic relationship. Congruently, is it the energy in the light-bulb which aids me to see or is the the light-bulbs certain conductive properties which brightens my night? Is it the source of the light or is the composition just right.
I put on my genes and they were a little loose but that's okay because I'm a little baggie these days and don't need to fit the cliche just yet. I'll get the dress-shirt, dress-pants, lasik and gel when I leave this hell where I wish I could be saved by the bell. The life comes with the salary which comes with the scene, serenity oh so serene. See what I gleam as I dream and keep keen. In the mean time .. fuk U:
Cee Lo Green - Fu c k You 

Grease

AAWWwhhh F**K it.
I've come to an understanding which identifies many faults and maybe the breakdown of all sacred virtue. Virility! In there is the crowning achievement of todays ape. Strong in mind AND body .. why punish your mind when you can take out energy on your body AND reap the benefits of the pain inflicted. Exercise is today's penance for living in a parasitic society all the while oil coarsens through our veins. In vain we complain about distain, insane conglomerates yet our piety is relentless. Get:
Hope_
Fear nothing
Build your me (and not meme) machine to be lean and mean because life's not always serene. You must gleen for a dream and keep keen and unseen. From the bosom unwean, build steam and get that C.R.E.A.M; step on toes, blow thy nose and watch where it goes. [Java apple: hello world! Coming live, in your face to interface and displace your grace. I'm on the case, out of space and pissed like a surprised hippo. Red eye set Go!]
+ Subject is so uptight that only cats and dogs hear them fart.
- To hell w/ a 'Bucket List' I've got a *uckit List and #1 is: get in a fight over dumb shit. Get a story or lose some glory; no worry time heals all wounds.
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Vow: build a shell to weather the storm because my sight is cloudy and the fog has lifted.
The patient succumb displacement and the last shall truly first. Wait, weight and hate; precipitate to substantiate the plate, plain and plight. Adiue, Ahmen, Good Night

Omission

Been preoccupied for the last while on procrastination. Today is day 11 .. yesterday was too but I slipped up after feeling lonely at a party. Maybe lonely isn't the best word but I guess I just miss history at times and suppose what an ideal life may have been . . but life isn't rainbows and sherbet; it is what is in your head and what you do which don't always coincide. Anyways, I apologize in advance to anyone who may read this:
I'm going to be more absent in the future: i'm working on a paper back novel called 'the Derek bible'. Ideally, it will be part of an intuitive which entails a sort of book exchange system whereby a writer and reader mail their respective copy to each other. Maybe like a open publishing service where someone reads your work and you read someone's work to circumvent the whole commercial process of publishing and that stuff which is ultimately for the masses who, lets face it, are capable of being coaxed, swayed, mislead etc. 

Anyways, No one really is reading this except myself a buddy and the occasional curious individual thus I will work on my novel till more comments provoke a return. 

It is synced to my email which also is synced to my mobile; therefore I am aware of submissions and your contributions won't go unnoticed.

In the mean time, adieu adieu and cheers.

PS. That means if you enjoy my insight then comment to encourage interaction. I'm open to discussing anything so long as it is not super conventional.

Optimistic

According to the exam that I just wrote, this is also know as reaction formation (psychodynamics: Freud). Briefly, smoking update: had a little relapse Sunday night but I had an epiphany too, if you falter then the count doesn't reset but rather you don't get to count the day. Therefore, I am a week smoke-free today. Genius because when I relapsed before it seemed to negate the days accomplished where I should rather revel in rebuking the devil.
Congruently, I wrote an exam today which I was again poorly prepared for but alas, all is well because my objective is to pass the course at this point. My semester went to the dumps after I was duped and dumped by a chump who though she could pump my throat with a lump and turn me into a stump. I nipped this in the rump because I'll get over this hump and triumph. For the best or worst, I am adverse to curse so I'll miss this hearse and get immersed in my diverse new purse. Can't bring me down because I know the noun of sound and bound the found. I'll be around like a hound, mind wound and quite renowned.
Don't give a hoot what you shoot, my choice is absolute and astute to refute this brute. w0.0t w0.0t
{o,o}
|)__)
-”-”-
The owl chose a vowel to scowl. Be wise, improvise, devise the size of the skies for your highs; dismiss the lies to comprise a demise; compromise, hypothesize and vitalize.
~ Well that's all for today. Brain numb, dumb as I succumb to boredom.

Gain

Day six b*tches, and I have a further pronouncement which is I have gained 5 pounds in the last couple of days. Goal: 145 by the end of the month though I don't really know what will happen. I have the powders and the pills, the will and the fills. Besides, what else am I going to do but study. I'd rather work on my heart attack in a productive manner. Smoking and cloaking broke my heart and now I will start to cart the art of tart.
Anyways, the impetus for today's topic is the idiom: no pain, no gain. This is kind of a derivative of yesterday's speel about buddhist principles of dealing with pain. First of all, you know you're progressing when you aren't comfortable. If you have expelled energy then you are in a deficit and this is good. Who wants to be content when you can expel and reap benefits of exertion. Anyways, today is supposed to be productive for me so I'm going to get a head start and recharge. Short one for today because no one is really listening except me anyways. F*ck you get out of my head, to me you're dead and I'm glad we never wed. You sh*t the bed, made it; now sleep in it because I loath your incongruence and discord. Grow up and get out of my head. Roar, hoar no more, my score is +1 minus you.
Digress and progress for success. Extol, excel, and give them hell. Conditioning bell and casting a spell. Test the depths of the well and revel in the benevolence.

Tabla Rasa

Day Five underway. Had a close call last night as I was coaxed into going into that Vinyl club again but this time without my usual means of escape. Nonetheless, I made it thanks to the support of several friends who want me to succeed.
Anyways, I'm trying to condition my brain to not revel over the past but rather to only think about the present and future. It's not foolproof yet but it gives me some hope and better things to think about. For example, I discovered a lot of food in the fridge and have taken it upon myself to eat it as soon as possible. Some of which may spoil, thus the chicken first but who the f*ck cares about that.
In the silence of the night one is faced with the fears of the unknown. The blackness provokes angst and speculation; intimidation and conviction. No more, no more. I give up caring and embrace what evils may dredge and shred me. My apathy has almost consumed and I care less and less about what was once important. It is me now and in this I thrive. I am cunning, strong, and willful when forced. It is the pressures which truly elucidate one's threshold for either victory or defeat.
- The tree which never gets winded or trampled is mean for deer food and the tree which is abuse grows the thickest of bark and the most beautiful knots. As buddist principles mandate: life is pain and it is how one copes with this which dictates their manifestation as a sentient, adaptive and resilient being.
Therefore I say to you, it is that which you endure that makes you strong and what does not kill you makes you stronger. I need no one and no one needs me, I am an island a lone wolf and I will devour those who transgress my progress. Get the f*ck out of my way because I'm going somewhere and I'm not looking for anyones help. If they give me help then kudos but I owe you nothing other than gratitude for your ignorance. I need be selfish today because yesterday I was self less and am became less than what it takes to bear.
= today is the day that I shit in the street, trampled it on my feet and then jumped on your bed because I am no longer dead.