Eulogy

Okay all you pricks,
Buckle the fur up cuz it's gonna be a bumpy ride. The events came to fruition! It looks likely that I will live past 27 and thus will hopefully transcend the 27th year curse which befalls many greats. Thus, I am lead to believe that I will survive into moments which many will come to know. How? By the ascension of time through the medium of script? English script 2.0. You may say my prior attempts where in beta but I think I found my deranged voice by not caring who I offend. Fur you all and you're naive pretentious bull shot wounds. I am a vigilante, a teacher, a poet, a scholar and a gentle man. Never forget that as I mind fur your skull with the works which I will bestow to you once I see a demand for my voice .. my influence .. I wont sing you fuzzy little dreams to coo you to sleep or tell you if you look fat in a dress? If you have to ask then you doubt.. ahem... I digress from my shadowy past till I get some feedback. I apologize in advance if you are offended by my crass tongue but what can I say? My hide is thick, I was a smoker for many years.. still am battling this demon but I think I've on the cusp of this. No more punishment for the sins of my forefathers. I will right damn you, write? Anyways, This will be my last publicly published work till I have both some feedback and some mews. Anything to know I will hopefully be able to contribute more to society than merely reproducing. Demonstrating good intention, karma and documenting the words which freely bounce around in my mind. Don't mind me, I lost it somewhere along the way but I've got wheels now and am offering a lift. If I can afford I may get a bus.. yeah, one of those pimp pink pinata types with indoor plumbing and satellite TV for the whole family to be watched. As HST said, there's no such thing as paranoia, just ignorance. Anyways, I'm feeling the end of this so I'll be brief frank lee jr. Subscribe and if my outlaw gonzo styled stammering tantalize your pleasure centers; press enter on the center of the box to subscribe. I'm no scribe but I'll divide the diatribe I describe if des nuts are mine. Fur SO that's all for now until I meet my quota by choice or necessity.
Cheers, mahalo, kudos and remember:
Res Ipsa Loquitur bitches

eschew

Well it has been well over a month but I'm feeling enlightened tonight to convey some of my thoughts. I can't even categorize them but regardless here they are. While washing dishes I came to think doubt is easy and people are much quicker to judge and discredit other people's beliefs than they are to devise their own. It is typically easier to listen than to talk because to listen is to judge while talking or articulating requires a degree of insight. Of course not absolutely or in any context but seemingly for the majority of the time.
People are prone to bastardizing beliefs and faith because one also doesn't like to be wrong; fear is noxious however it is also the force which guides ourselves to seek that which evokes less fear. Take Christianity for example. I once knew someone who rebuked this system because she said it was condoning convictions of fear to guide one towards living a life of asceticism. The irony is that, albeit hopefully, she will come to understand the merits of restraint and virtuous self-control. I'm not making claims that one should abstain from all vices and void-joys but simply suggesting that the goal does not justify the means. Love and time are the most valuable resources humans poses yet it also seems that the constituents of love and the quality of time have both been perverted; a lull in civilized stature.
Stability, resourcefulness and a resounding need for resilience are our plights to excellence yet to they are qualities which are never satisfied nor content; a working process which propels studiousness and humble stoicism. Does this even make sense? Surely these ideas are of the same origin but our insatiable need to tailor semantical discrepancies has become a zealous undertaking of academia or the esteemed intellectuals.
All I can say left for this eve as I know tomorrow comes fast is: one can never relinquish hope or faith (in what is relative) because to uphold a purpose and function is divine and otherwise dismal solitude combined with contemplative non-existence toil the waking thoughts and comes to mean nothing. Something is better than nothing so long as happiness is emphasized though suffering is needed to make joy more salient. Do not hate pain but understand it exists for preservation of self and to make the lack thereof all the better. Take joy in small assumptions such as breath and sustenance be it food, water, shelter or love because all are necessary for peace or maybe serenity.
Think fast, talk slow, say less but mean more. Keep on the proper path to avoid pathology with the foresight for hindsight; live for before but looking forward; Construe true constellations. Find the pi in onions to base opinions. Cherish, forgive and live both new and old memories. I am spent; goodnight

Cantankerous

Adjective Valentines day to myself and cat today!
Thought I'd divert some lyrical energy into this instead of talking about evolution and fitness. My topic is February or maybe better know as Fed-up-U-weary month. Seems like this is about the time of year that a lot of people become rather run roughly. Is it the lack of sun (cold overcast days), valentines day, illness, or none of the bad. Here in Canada we do have Family day and winter break so there is some release but nonetheless.
On a tighter note I will tote the ease which brings me limber and limerick alliteration. The following may make no sense but it's my penance and suspense as these seemingly phonetic utterances comply to grammar yet semantically and emphatically they digress. It could be that "Colorless green ideas sleep furiously" or maybe there's something deeper than rote memories. Blank expressions dive deep into a pool of nimble honey. Can you elaborate to dilate my lack of creative expression? Do you see through these lines to fill the white space which leaves much to be desired? Have you ever touched the surface of your skull where there used to be a lull but now lays something to mull. HEY! BE HERE NOW was their tomorrow's symbiont. Mass grievance for an unfulfilled providence. Nonetheless, where there was a damp cloth there is now a dry sponge and the dishes are done so lets eat. This is for me to know and you to find out; what the heck am I talking about, move on to the next phase . .:
So there I was sipping on some tanquiray when all of a sud on my lip sprouted a fur round rip. Eye law, stop bearing under pressure and cat or acts break concentration.

WEll back to reality . . oh If anyone finds my mind let me know. In the mean time, rewind to wear down the tape so that you can go digital in this new age. Keep Free, Dumb Writes 4EvA

Symposium

A bright and sunny Saturday awaits me with the promise of much camaraderie, music and laughter. Thus, in this mood I thought I'd redeem my posts of late since February tends to be the toughest month. Thank God it's a short one. Yes, updates . . well still dabbling with smoking cigarettes and it's been months since I've blazed. I've found that quiting smoking is one of those things that you intend to do and do eventually get around to it but in the mean time its trivial. I'd be fine if I never had to socialize but the habit is a means to escape the scene to the serene and tranquil outdoors to engross in either dyadic conversation or observe nature and all it's inhabitants. With valentines day coming up I'd like to briefly say, poor schmucks who have fallen trap to the ludicrous charade called love. As I awoke and watched the dawn glisten today I saw a lovely couple walk side by side as they vicariously discussed their divorce and financial disentanglement. Poor folk must think that there's either someone else out there or that they'd be happier alone. Maybe so but nonetheless, time is ticking and people don't age as well as wine. We tend to get more bitter and rancid as our meat loosens and brains become ever more volatile.
- Note to self: find thy self. Also if you find my mind let me know because I've been looking for it.
School is good because I've almost made the 2nd last hump towards my degree; 2nd wave of midterms and papers, final and I'm DONE!! FTW, I've got a degree; someone hire me. I will wave the fee to purse salary. Needlessly, I've completed my quest and didn't do my best but I was there in body and in that's what counts. Oh yes, and I paid for it or just about.
Now, in my closing remarks I'd like to say Hell ya and WtF because as I said to a friend yesterday, "my brain feels like a burnt sponge floating on a sea of syrup or some other viscous liquid.
Um, at last adieu and till next time I feel moved, I bid fare belle and enjoy this little song:

Clarification

Well it turns out that I am not a very clear writer. Guess I knew this all along but I have this terrible habit of trying to be poetic in my presentation and quite often the words don't get across. Thus, I will try and convey my thoughts in a more straightforward and obvious manner. What's new? Well, I've managed to reduce my life to a rather simple and empty state. The quiting anything seems like an effort in vein because I have trouble dealing with problems in a productive or useful way. I have quit using elicit recreational remedies because they just don't seem to interact well with me these days. Quit is a strong word but I guess I've turn down opportunities and abstained from purchases. More precisely, I don't get high because I don't enjoy it anymore and have found my mind to be rather volatile and seemingly leaving me opaque and dull. In general, I'm in a lull and though I have so much going for me like family, finance and foreseeable future I am not happy with myself. Why? Maybe because I'm dissatisfied with my appearance, my enthusiasm, my negativity, my tendency to speak without thinking. Well Hell, whats the point and why do I even record this? Some poor individual may read this . . yet I can't help but write it down on some public forum for the chance to interact with people. Sad really, but hey I'm here to amuse. Well, at least I've managed to increase my weight somewhat and at some discomfort have been eating regularly. Great horn toad, what a load. Sorry for subjecting anyone to this but my ramble is my therapy. On an opposite note, why the rap. Maybe I'm slightly dyslexic or I notice patterns in word sequencing. I'm going to have a nap now. So carry on my wayward son, there'll be peace when you are gone. Lay your weary head to rest.
Boo Yam Ick Ah

Complacence

Thought I'd update this because it's been a while and I'm looking to defer studying yet again. Old habits die hard but I do try and will succeed. Had a funk of a weekend with the remission of some obsessive thought processes which are starting to simmer again but nonetheless leads me awry. I've gotta get out of my life I think, any takers or condolences?
In the wake of malice and mediocre bourgeois, the proponents become ever so clear. Nuance and exile infer a contingency of unkempt contempt. Stout rapture of a glorified prodigy, a paragon to piety or pity; you decide. Could this be the end or a new beginning? What was that . . . were they listening . . . never mind. This is bat country and someone's been feeding booze to these goddamn animals. It's a feeding zoo frenzy with my consciousness as an appetizer. Only me and my faithful companion prevail on this thimble called here or now or some resonance of existence. If only he could talk we would demarcate to our perspective sides, to thrash about wildly like a snake in seizure. Ambivalence maybe or certainly not boredum seeing as there are dogs tearing themselves to shreds just out my window. Silly beasts, tricks are for skids.
Whatever, I enthrall in the plight of life. The bliss extacy and reciprocal slumber of perpetuating preclusions. Occlude we may but only the sleeping dragon guards the treasures in the cave. Wake him and shield your catacombs because a whirlwind hast never flew over the coo coo's nest. Well, my times up and another shift's in the bag. Now onto MEMORY!! oh, I may have the pleasure of augmenting 'retrograde amnesia' on wikipedia so keep your ears low for that. Other than that I'll leave you to your own devices to which suffices.

Let it snow, Let it snow, Let it snow. Never before seen hear you all for the days of bedazzlement are at hand. Random or cryptic, serious or sarcastic, insane or persistent, polarity or passivity. Rectify Rectify Rectify, Electrify, Electrify. Cookie mmhh sigh*

Arduous

Thought I'd update this since I've been AWOL, MIA, and other syllogisms which excite your fancy. Busy life or so I'd say and I've managed to keep enduring though some aspects continue to linger. Still not smoking but I slip up when in certain company. Still exercising and over eating though I think at this point I'm just eating often because I haven't the time or the desire to be uncomfortable. Anyways, enough about me and my exuberant life of benevolence, malevolence, dissidence, hesitance and suspense. I feel compelled to share a little exert from a post mandated by a lulling course I've subjected myself to:

Cheating in Sport

I think that cheating in sports is inevitable. Because of the high demand for a competitive edge then individuals will seek all alternatives and prospects which pose an opportunity to excel. I'm reluctant to condone a zero-tolerance mentality because I understand that the world is not black and white. Authorities have the intentions of eliminating the use of substances which are shown to be harmful to those who use them. However, the verdict is still out for a lot of nutrient substitutes, stabilizers and a kaleidoscopic plethora of other 'legitimate' enhancers. I think the term 'drug' is pretty elusive and subject to interpretation seeing as the dominant criteria which connotes inclusion is based on conglomerates who endorses and receive revenue from such classifications. Therefore, I say continue to investigate and hash out the harmful effects of substances athletes ingest and continue to reprimand those for emancipated transgressions but remain weary of fraudulence too. You are what you eat and if you've gotta 'supplement' to keep up then maybe there is something wrong that you aren't addressing; which is to find contention in your calibre of performance and don't take it out on yourself so much. Pertaining to 'doctoring' your equipment, I say regulations mandate the criteria and to thwart this is an act of anarchy; fore shame, for shame. You know we are LIVING IN A SOCIETY!

Fans are indifferent because they are fanatical and selfish, void of empathy and compassion; loyalty is a rarity, opinions vary and what people say and do have vast incongruity. In a disposable society we throughout the razor who has lost its edge and look for the next best thing; sad really but life ain't fair and all we can do is try not cry or go awry.

Gamesmanship versus Sportsmanship are nice fuzzy terms to illustrate if one plays a game versus if one plays a sport. If you've read my short diatribe about contrasting the two then you'll know that sports are about competition and deduce that games are about recreation aka fun. Thus, is it ironic that these terms are paradoxical or at least contrary to what they're to represent. I know gamesmanship is supposed to infer an emphasis on winning the game and sportsmanship is supposed to emphasize being a good 'sport' but I do find it uncanny. Nonetheless, my experience revolved about discerning these two terms and remembering that sportsmanship relate to games and gamesmanship relate to sports.
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So as you see I succumbed to my tendency to overuse my vocabulary and conjunctive articulation. Hence, I'm not going into research and prefer people to paper. Though both seem to be the bane of my existence these days. Nonetheless! PROGRESS and DIGRESS!